yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Its about making memories worth repressing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
