Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
