My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
