i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
