You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
