This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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