So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
