Got a toothbrush?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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