If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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