who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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