last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
