Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
