So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
