he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
