I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
