im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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