if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
