to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
