i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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