I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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