My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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