I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
