Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
