I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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