Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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