as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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