your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
