and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
