you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
