So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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