nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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