Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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