My first STD was from a foam party
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize