Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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