Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i drank out of a bidet.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
