Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
