Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
