she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
