I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Randomize
