; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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