i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
