I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
