Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
