So gin and wine won't be happening again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
