Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
