We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
