i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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