he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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