maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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