He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
