It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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