therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
