I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
