oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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