so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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