So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize