Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
