You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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