Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
