he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
