MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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