I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
