He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
